1) A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to
swallow a human because even though it was a very large
mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated
that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher
reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was
physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to
heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah
went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
2) A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they
were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As
she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the
drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said,
"But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up
from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
3) A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and
six-year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy
Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our
brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a
family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
4) One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at
the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has several strands of
white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her
mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me
cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this
revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs
are white?"
5) The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it
will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer,
she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael; he's a doctor.' A small voice at the back
of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher; she's dead."
6) A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make
the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as
you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes," the class
said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position
the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet
ain't empty."
7) The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school
for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a
note, and posted it on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving
further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of
chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want . . . God
is watching the apples."
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